Lakeview Terrace

Sam L. Jackson hates
Black/white pair living next door
Makes life hell for them.


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Righteous Kill

Top two screen icons
Star in snorefest cop thriller
Too little, too late.


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Wild Child

American brat
Gets shipped to Brit boarding school
Becomes a good girl.


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College

Three high school losers
Trek to college to binge drink
Complete waste of time.


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The Duchess

Once again Knightley
Dons puffy gowns, powdered wigs
In tragic love flick.


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Bangkok Dangerous

Mr. Cage adds fuel
To the "he's a big hack" fire
With lousy remake.


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Hell Ride

This biker gang film
Is like Pulp Fiction on wheels
Just not worth watching.


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Babylon A.D.

Future's not so bright
In this sci-fi adventure
Vin Diesel, no help.


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Disaster Movie

The title of film
Perfectly sums up my thoughts
Nothing left to say.


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Miss Potter

A period piece
On Peter Rabbit author
Surprisingly good.


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Mirrors

Asian film remake
With Kiefer overacting
And mirror horrors.


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Death Race

A mindless movie
Combines NASCAR and Mad Max
Should not have been made.


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The House Bunny

Too old for Hefner
Bunny joins sorority
Stupidity reigns!


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Mutant Chronicles

Warring sides must stop
The mutation of people
In cheaply made film.


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Man on Wire

Documentary
About some tightrope walker
Is slightly rousing.


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Star Wars: The Clone Wars

Bad plot and bad art
Wreak havoc on obvious
Grab at a pay day.


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Tropic Thunder

A blackfaced Downey
May be one of the best things
Since sliced bread breakthrough.


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Hoodwinked!

Intriguing story
Gives Red Riding Hood and pals
'Tudes that fit our times.


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Space Chimps

Boring CGI
Is just one of the problems
This kids feature has.


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Step Brothers

Infantile humor
Runs amok as Will Ferrell
one-ups John Reilly.


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Pineapple Express

Not since Rush Hour flick
Has fights and jokes mixed so well
Pot smokers rejoice!


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The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

Shapeshifting mummy
from China is the new foe
Else, same old story.


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The X Files: I Want to Believe

Abysmal acting
Makes wrongful organ transplants
One hundred times worse.


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Taken

Lesson number one:
Kidnap daughter of top spy
Get your ass kicked in.


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The Devil Wears Prada

Who knew high fashion
Was so cut-throat, high pressure
And entertaining?


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Mamma Mia!

Although out of tune
This here ABBA musical
Really ain't bad.


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Meet Dave

Oh, Eddie Murphy
A film where you play a ship
Can't not be a bomb.


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The Holiday

A ho-hum chick flick
Two girls switch homes and find love
One with Jack Black, huh?


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The Dark Knight

The reinvention
Of Batman is now complete
Be mindful, Gotham.


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The Art of War II: Betrayal

Poor guy, Wesley Snipes
Must resort to low class films
To pay off tax debt.


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Hellboy II: The Golden Army

Big red guy returns
To fight hordes that hate humans
Glad he's on our side!


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The Love Guru

Ever want to see
Indian Austin Powers?
Watch this crap pile then.


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Wanted

Ordinary guy
Is transformed into killer
Makes for intense thrills.


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WALL-E

Small dirty robot
Cleans a rubbish engulfed Earth
New green for Pixar!


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Hancock

Drunk super hero
Causes more pain than his worth
The ending hurts too.


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Miss Conception

The motherhood itch
Strikes girl; tries to get knocked up
Ends don't defend means.


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The Happening

Too much emphasis
Put on being creative
Drags this movie down.


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Get Smart

Shoe-talking agent
Makes his silver screen debut
A successful one.


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The Incredible Hulk

Big green guy returns
To wreak havoc on bad guys
Marvel can be proud.


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You Don’t Mess with the Zohan

Israeli agent
Longs to be a hairdresser
Adam Sandler, stop.


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Penelope

A cute little tale
Of a girl with a pig's nose
Love her, lift the curse.


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The Strangers

A home invasion
A most frightening ordeal
Not so much in this.


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Kung Fu Panda

Astounding to all
A fat panda who can fight
Brings peace to the land.


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Baby Mama

Fey and Poehler make
The baby making process
A terrible act.


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Sex and the City

Trendy girls are back
To look good and talk of sex
How original.


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Teeth

Never trust a girl
With vagina dentata
You may lose your "head".


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Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Archaeology
Plus that Close Encounters flick
Equals this movie


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The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian

The children return
To protect the Narnians
And crown a new king.


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Zombie Strippers!

Excuse was needed
To star Jenna Jameson
In a nonporn role.


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________________________

War, Inc.

Off-kilter satire
Jabs at lunacy of war
Conservatives cry.


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________________________

What Happens in Vegas…

Sleepy comedy
Proves there are consequences
For drinking too much.


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________________________

Speed Racer

Wachowski brothers
With 60's anime brings
Visual vomit.


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Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay

The stoners return
Crazy adventures unfold
Too stupid for most.


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________________________

Iron Man

Obscure Marvel ace
Fights evil in iron suit
The outcome is known.


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________________________

Street Kings

A lackluster plot
Combined with awful acting
Unmeant comedy.


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________________________

The Hottie and the Nottie

You are better off
Reading the Ugly Duckling
Than watching this mess.


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________________________

Leatherheads

George Clooney returns
As a suave football player
Good fun had by all.

________________________

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________________________

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Who in the world knew
That getting dumped by a girl
Could be so funny?


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________________________

The Forbidden Kingdom

Jet Li, Jackie Chan
Finally fight in a film
Ten-years too late though.


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________________________

The Accidental Husband

Advice columnist
Has to swallow her own words
Best to just shut up.


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________________________

Drillbit Taylor

Geeky high school boys
Need protection from bullies
Drillbit ain't your guy.


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________________________

Nim’s Island

Silly kids story
About a girl on an isle
Jodie Foster, why?


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________________________

Superhero Movie

Parody movie
Pokes fun at superheroes
In unfunny way.


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________________________

Senior Skip Day

Last day of high school
Huge senior party is planned
Naked girls needed.


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________________________

21

M.I.T. students
Develop scheme to get rich
Casinos not pleased.


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________________________

Flawless

Snore-fest diamond heist
Offers us nothing new, plus
Ms. Moore is not nude.


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________________________

College Road Trip

Dad acts like an ass
At colleges with daughter
Run far, far away.


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________________________

Horton Hears a Who!

Lesser known Seuss book
Spruced up with left-wing program
Great fun for the kids!


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________________________

In Bruges

Witty hitman flick
Makes the best use of two things:
Colin Farrell; dwarves.


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________________________

Doomsday

Escape From New York
Mixed with some Mad Max type stuff
Equals this gore fest.


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________________________

10,000 B.C.

Epic adventure
Boy must save girl from slavers
Need more sabretooth.


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Witless Protection

Dumber than dirt cop
Rescues a hot, star witness
Please rescue film too.


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________________________

The Bank Job

Ordinary heist
Was front for government plot
One of many twists.


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________________________

Semi-Pro

Will Ferrell again
Plays an idiot sports guy
Will he ever stop?


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________________________

Vantage Point

Watch kill try of Pres
Again, again and again
Enough already!


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________________________

The Spiderwick Chronicles

Protect the field guide
A boy must from an ogre
Who wants to rule all.


________________________

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________________________

Step Up 2 the Streets

Hip, urban dancing
Used as another backdrop
For find yourself flick.


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________________________

The Signal

Strange alien noise
Causes extreme violence
Horror at its best.


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________________________

Charlie Bartlett

Rich kid in new school
Fits in by selling his meds
Poor way to make friends.


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________________________

Jumper

Hayden has a gift
To teleport anywhere
First up, acting school.


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________________________

Fool’s Gold

With ex-wife, her boss
Guy searches for lost treasure
Please find humor too.


________________________

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________________________

Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins

Famous talk show host
Goes home for clan reunion
Gets knocked down to size.


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________________________

There Will Be Blood

Ruthless oil baron
Rapes the land, secludes himself
Aging alone sucks.


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________________________

Strange Wilderness

Clueless, dumb burnouts
Must film Bigfoot to save show
To watch, best be high.


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________________________

Over Her Dead Body

Bitchy girlfriend dies
And now haunts ex's new love
Funny, this ghost is not.


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________________________

The Eye

Girl gets haunted eyes
Sees impending disasters
She's better off blind.


________________________

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________________________

Meet the Spartans

Parody movie
Making fun of pop culture
A complete failure.


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________________________

Untraceable

Serial killer
Tortures victims on website
Catch him if you can.


________________________

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________________________

Cloverfield

Alien monster
Lays waste to New York City
What a shitty day.


________________________

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________________________

Rambo

Same old John Rambo
Killing bad guys for justice
Will it ever end?


________________________

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________________________

The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie

Vegetables, fruits
Join forces in pirate quest
Good movie for kids.


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________________________

27 Dresses

Dumb movie about
A girl with low self esteem
Grow a pair, she must.


________________________

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________________________

First Sunday

Stupid, would-be crooks
Rob a church to makes ends meet
God works in strange ways.


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________________________

Juno

Little outcast girl
Gets herself impregnated
Nine months; must grow up.


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________________________

The Ungodly

Struggling filmmaker
Blackmails serial killer
Gets more than he hoped.


________________________

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________________________

Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead

Down on luck brothers
Look for the easy way out
Doesn't go as planned.


________________________

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________________________

Charlie Wilson’s War

Defeat Red Army?
Simple Congressman does it
Just needed resolve.


________________________

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________________________

Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story

Follow the life of
Dewey Cox -- from rags to wealth
And laugh on the way.


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